In Honor of My Husband, Ron

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Update on chemo

I am the most blessed Mom on Earth. Since losing their Dad, my three kids have been there for me in every way possible. They have grieved with me, done things around the house that Ron used to take care of, done things that I didn't feel well enough to do, emotionally supported me every day--they truly gave me the reason to keep living. So now that I have cancer too, I realize that they are the reason I am still here, and why I must beat this disease.

I start chemo on Wednesday, June 30. Amanda will be there with me. I have no idea how my body will react, but I hope I can keep my mind focused on winning, like Ron always did. I know I will not face my cancer with as much strength as he did (I don't know if anyone could!), but I hope he will send me a little!

I still don't know if I am going to be in the Clinical Trial. I was supposed to hear on Friday, but I never got the call. I am hoping to find out on Monday. It doesn't really matter all that much, because chemo will start this week anyway. The only reason I am hoping to get in, is that one of the "arms" includes the targeted drug Avastin, plus the regular treatment of FOLFOX. The other arm is just FOLFOX, which is what I will receive if I am not in the trial.

I recently got the surprise of an IPad from the kids for me to take to chemo. Aren't they wonderful? And just today, Jason bought me a brand new laptop because mine was so old, so I am typing this from my new HP Pavilion. Even though it has been an awful year, I know that I am blessed...